I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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