I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
