Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize