what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
