She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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