thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌ðŸ»ï¸
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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