Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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