(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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