**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
