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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
