It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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