Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
