Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
They took my balls.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
