Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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