i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
