You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
