I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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