I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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