I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
