I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
