If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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