Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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