OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
