so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
