So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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