so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
