I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
