Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
