Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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