I showed him my bush... on skype.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
