I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
