Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
