I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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