please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
