fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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