1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
