at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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