I have demons in me.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
