so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
