when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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