why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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