That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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