So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
