Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
