Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Congratulations! We have a period
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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