Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
