I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
