dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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