Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
