why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize