I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
