perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
