Your mouth is God's brothel.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize