my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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