So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
