I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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